Here I am:
My mummy has just shouted at me for being naughty. I keep escaping in the middle of the night.
Not content with getting into the bath, last night I knocked over two air freshener cans in the bathroom, which made a terrible racket on the tiles. Grandad got up to see what the noise was, but I'd already fled the scene. I watched as grandad scratched his head over what had knocked the cans over, hunting behind cupboards for what he probably guessed was little me. What he didn't know is I was sat in the hallway watching him. Then he spied me! I scuttled away as fast as my little legs can carry me - which is pretty darn fast, just ask mummy when I run across her desk and she loses me behind the PC monitor.
Anyway, I took refuge in the living room, finding a very cosy spot under a sofa. I spent a happy half hour there while grandad tried to coax me out. He obviously doesn't know me very well - swearing at me will not get a response. So I had a little wash. Then, ohmygoodness, the earth moved, and the settee with it! I pelted across the floor and hid under the other one! Victory was mine!
THWARTED! Nanna had spotted me! With a prod of a newspaper I was exposed, unceremoniously scooped up and plonked back in my cage. Haven't they gotten the hint that I hate it in there?!
Mummy understands me. I've just had a little sleep in her hand. I think I made her jump when I stretched, as she dropped me, again. I forgive her, as she gives me cornflakes or toast for breakfast. She knows I need my me time too, so she's put me in this box again. I do like it in here. I think I'll wash my balls. Again.
EDIT: I have just vacated the tissue box, with a burst of speed unlike any seen in another beast or fowl of this earth. I was grabbed and I'm back in my cage. When mummy picks up the tissue box she will realise I have done nine poos.
