"Oh woe", laments a girl. "I still haven't been paid for working August. I still haven't had my tuition fees refunded. I have to pay my rent next week. Woe. And I'm so bored, too. What can I do to make myself feel better?"

"You should tidy your room, and do some washing" says a shrill Good Sensible Thing on her shoulder. "A tidy house makes for a happy heart!"

"Does it? I'm not sure it does" says she.

"It doesn't! I have the answer! Harken to me, the Bad Impulsive Thing, and I shall tell thee a wondrous tale, a tale of a young woman with a debit card, and too much time on her hands..."

[Some time later]

"Thank you, Bad Impulsive Thing, for all your help! No longer am I bored! And look at all these wonderful jumpers! What soft leather boots! How delicious that sticky toffee pudding and four J20s! So many random purchases! How did you know I needed eight pairs of socks? I feel much, much better!"

"*cough cough*"

"Oh what do you want, Good Sensible Thing?"

"Perhaps, impulsive maid, you should add up all of those reciepts, just to keep track. I hope you didn't spend all your rent money!"

[A long melancholic wail can be heard, echoing into the night]