It's typical. When I choose to take a day off work (or more specifically, I need to, else I will go insane), all I'm capable of is sleeping and watching TV and eating bread. When I have to take time off, for such a minor reason as an actual broken arsebone, I can't bear it. I managed until about 2pm but then I simply had to move.

I hoovered, did some washing, cleaned hoovered out the gerbils' tank, and changed half of my sheets. The weather has been terrible, though, so I haven't been to get my painkillers.

And now I ache. It's sad for me.

I did manage to amuse myself by realising that when I speak daft to the gerbils, like I speak daft to the whole menagerie, I pronounce gerbils like I would say kerbils, which results in me calling them Goebbels. I should probably stop that.

So tonight...rest my back, or cinema? Hmmm...

*yawn* *stretch* morning all! 12.30 is morning, right? Hum di hum...

There is so much I need to do today.

I need to go to a chemist to get my painkillers before it starts raining. At least, I think they're painkillers. The doctor appears to have prescribed some hieroglyphics. Goodness knows what I'll end up with.

I need to hoover the goldfish tank as my darlings are now definitely taking on the sluggish appearance and characteristics of creatures that are living in two weeks worth of their own shit and want to cry, but they can't, as they're fish.

I need to clean out the gerbils. They stink. They stink. They like it like that, but I don't care. I also need to stop playing with their emotions - one week in my room, one week in the cold dark back room...it's not good for their emotional stability. Are they wanted, are they not? They just don't know. Neither do I, really. I just know they stink.

I need to change my bedding. Just call me Pepé Le Pew.

This needs doing.
That needs doing.
This.
That.
Also.
This.
That.

All of this hinges on me doing just one thing above anything else. Getting out of bed.

*snugglewarm*

Doctor's orders! (Or, an interpretation thereof.)

I haz a Bloscar. A BLOSCAR. I haz one.

Thank you so much. I mean it.

Well done to everyone who was nominated, and to those who won.

Long may we all continue to fill our bit of cyberspace with our random mutterings, courtesy of a secret lair in Berlin.

BCUK is fantastic. I love it here.

My internet* just went offline for twenty minutes. I was nearly sick. It has never done that before. Ever. Ever. It KNEW how much I needed it tonight. I have never yelled LLWNT so loud in my life!

Row kindly offered to blog for me via her. Bless. Chin chin to you!

Anyway, good luck all. This is all such fun!

(*by 'my internet' I actually mean next door's internet. Clearly this is a signal from the Net Karma Gods that stealing is wrong. Wankers.)

You are hereby bearing witness to the following statement that I will ne'er again utter:

I admit it.

Some people were right.

And in their capacity of being right, I was, it must be said...probably not right.

That's correct folks, for the first time in my life, I was probably not right (I really must stress the 'probably').*

My boss brought me home from work at about 11am because I was white as a sheet and shaking. When I got home, I threw up. I hate doctors and refuse to see one, as they know, so the sneaky workfolk rang my doctor and got him to come out and see me. He has just left.

Sickness: probably just a bug.

Back pain: Fractured. I shouldn't have moved for about a week, and definitely shouldn't have been a) walking to work and b) sitting in a very uncomfortable chair for 7 hours when I got there. I am the proud owner of my first sick note, and a prescription for something that may knock me out. It could well be very painful for up to another 4 or 5 months.

I am therefore going to spend the next 72 hours in bed, on medical advice, watching lots and lots of films, pausing only for Hollyoaks and Masterchef. I'm starting with Magicians. I need Mitchell, Webb, and lovely lovely Jessica.

Woe, woe for me!

This is not going to stop me going to see Editors on Sunday night.

*Disclaimer: 'I was probably not right' is totally different to 'I was wrong', and anyone who disagrees will be punched.

I know I am!

It seems to have been going on forever, but now it's come around so fast! I can't decide who I want to win...

Anyway. Show your support. Be there, tonight, 8pm onwards.

EDIT: NO NO NO look at the link!

An earthquake starting in Market Rasen? Market Rasen? NOTHING happens there! Netball tournaments and the odd farmer's market, maybe, but that really is it.

Just here, if you're not sure:

Something to put on the local history board, though, eh? Brilliant.

Oh, and my personal experience?

*shakerumble*
*Soy's leg slips off bed*
"What the...bombers? Oh, fuck off"
*shakerumble*
*storage tub containing 45 litres of water and 60 baby fish slops just a bit*
*Soy is very lucky that said slopping water made no contact with the masses of plugs surrounding said storage tub*
*Soy pulls covers back over head and is rocked back to sleep*

I'm rather reassured that my reaction to a potential bombing campaign is one of irritation, not fear.

Come on, come on, I want aftershocks!

To: Invisible Kicking B*stard

From: Irritated Soy

Re: The Kicking

Text: Would it be possible to refrain from the persistent kicking of my lower back? I know that being an Invisible Kicking B*stard has its limitations in terms of occupation and career prospects, but the constant thud-thud-thud-thud...it really is more than a bit irritating lately.

I think perhaps it might be time to move on. It's been quite a journey, but I think we both know you're ready.

Furthermore, you're sending me insane, you're making me lose my actual mind.

With best wishes for the future,

etc, etc.

Good:

I have Thorntons.
I had curry.
I am about to go meet friends for liquid chocolate broth.

Bad:
I couldn't find one of my Tuesday socks, or two random socks that match, and therefore had to wear two plain black socks, which make my feet look like grieving widows, and is probably what put me in a bad mood all day.
I spent far too much time on doing work today. Work for other people.
Back owy.

Middling:
I have an interview for the job I applied for. I'm not surprised by this, but it is nice nonetheless. I was given the choice of being interviewed first, last, or in the middle. I went for last. I do not think I will get it.
My hair is clean t last, but messy.

Ugly:
I'm off the codeine, and the builders are shoveling the concrete. Hurrah!

I've been in such a bad mood today. Work was unbearably boring and made me want to scream.

People keep trying to get me enthused about a new project we're doing. At first it was quite interesting but now I'm just starting to think it is a complete waste of time. I get fed up because we all talk and talk about things we can do, but of course we actually achieve very little, and while others get ecstatic about really stupid things, I'm banging my head on the desk.

Normally being about half the age of everyone else in the office isn't a problem, but when I'm saying things like "Look, if you want to get the attention of every single bloody student, start a Facebook group, they check that more than their email" and they say "What? How? Pardon? Wibble", clearly I'm going to get frustrated. And when I get frustrated, I get grumpy and surly like a teenager, and I don't do anything as a matter of principle.

I don't think I'll get the job I applied for. My line manager has been dropping hints all day (she's helping to shortlist). I try to change the subject when it is mentioned. I'm not getting my hopes up, quite the opposite. At least that way I can't be disappointed!

"Bored", thought I.

"Bollocks to the Biscuit Ban", sayeth my brain.

"You are wise", sayeth I.

"Consume four biscuits, Soy. That is an order", sayeth my brain.

*crunch munch*

"Brain, you are stupid, you stupid, stupid brain. Now I feel sick", moaneth I.

"If I told you to put your head in the oven, would you do it?"

"Probably..."

Good morning, cherubim all. Isn't a wonderful day? The sun is shining. Snowdrops are winking at us. My parents visited yesterday and took me shopping (and paid), subsequently I have new shoes on. I have minimal work to do. I'm resisting biscuits quite easily. What could slurry such a wonderful day?

Hmm.

There must be something.

Well, I suppose there's the fact that my leg just went a bit numb after my back cracked. There was the white, blinding pain too, of course. Never mind, I'm sure that just means it's healing, like a scab itches.

I'm really tired, too, of course, after a nearby house alarm decided to go off at about 3am and serandade us for 90 delightful minutes. Just performing its designated function though, I suppose. Can't complain about that.

I'm sure I'm imagining the funny looks from a couple of people and the whispering. I didn't hear the words "applied for" and "job" and "probably presumes she'll get it".

*hums merrily*

Pro: I got to spend two days in bed.
Con: I would happily be numb from the waste down right now.

Pro: I haven't had ANY biscuits.
Con: I have just eaten a Crunchie and a Double Decker. The Creme Egg can wait.

Pro: My gerbils are cute as buttons.
Con: They have kept me awake more this week than ever before, chewing the plastic air vent on their tank (once they chew it off, you see, they are FREE) and the incessant humping and accompanying squeaking, which is nauseating to watch. Bloody teenage lesbians.

Pro: I applied for a job.
Con: So did 35 other people.

Pro: Friday.
Con: No guinea pig to call my own.

That is all.

Doesn't seem like it when you've spent two days in bed.

In the interests of spareing everybody from boredom, I'm going to shrink my answers, making it easier to ignore them:

1. What was the last thing you cooked?
Ready meal.

2. What was the last thing you tried on?
Jeans that didn't fit.

3. What was the last thing you purchased on credit?
I don't own a credit card.

4. What was the last thing you put a postage stamp on?
I put it in the work post for free.

5. What was the last thing you took a photo of?
One end of my room to try my new phone camera.

See? Pitiful.

I decided to find you the stupidest birthday picture on the interweb. I rejected many cartoons and pictures of pissed people in favour of this:

Please try to replicate this picture for me.

Have a good one medear,

xxx

Since I got home from work on Tuesday, I have only spent a grand total of about 3 hours off my bed. There is a distinct possibility of bed sores entering the equation. I am writing this with a quilt and 4 pillows bundled up underneath me, and I have to sit on a leg, because I still cannot directly sit on my arse. I am behaving like a hemorrhoid sufferer after...well, I won't say it, because I'm a lady. A trip up the crow's nest, perhaps.

The crunching in the base of my spine seems to have stopped - however, it has been replaced with more of a snap and click sensation. I'm choosing to look upon this development as a positive progression towards a full recovery.

I also think it is important I share everything with you all. Well, it hurts to fart. More than that, I've had an awful lot of codeine over the past two days, and it would appear that codeine makes me constipated. There is an awful lot of extra pressure on my back. I'm not going to go into any further detail other than "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Now I did say I was on hiatus, but Rampage tagged me, and I'm not at work (again), so it's only polite any excuse:

I. You have to look up page 123 in the nearest book to you.
II. Look for the fifth sentence.
III. Then post the three sentences that follow the fifth sentence
IV. Tag five people to do the same.

Ok I had two books next to each other nearest to me:

1

And because this day was so vibrant with living it was difficult for Stephen to tolerate the idea of death, even for a little red fox, and she caught herself thinking: 'If we find, this morning, there'll be two of us who are utterly alone, with every man's hand against us.'

At the Meet she was prey to her self-concious shyness, so that she fancied people were whispering. There was no one now with bowed, patient shoulders to stand between her and those unfriendly people.

2

And oh my word, it isn't what it sounds like!

When the woman in question writes erotica, sometimes the acts between the sheets have to make their way onto the computer screen. And so I was putting into words all that we had done in the last few hours. The tiny clicks of the keyboard slowly pulled me into the story as my memory ran wild.

Any questions?

I tag...
Chyna, lisam25, Miza, Molty, and Phoenix82. Sorry if you've already been tagged.

Thank you for comments on my 100 and Joyous News, I really want to reply to them all, but unfortunately my fingers are otherwise occupied with constant kneading of my lower back or holding onto a hot water bottle. I've been reading everyone else's blogs too and would comment but for the same reasons. The 100 thing is addictive isn't it? Maybe we should set a limit at three each (resisiting urge to do another!).

My back is getting me down. I can stand, I can walk (slowly), and I can lay on my side, but can I sit down? Can I bugger. Blinding pain that makes me yelp. Unhappy, much.

Anyway, I will be back at work tomorrow but I think I will be busy with quite a bit, I need to be anyway, a lot to catch up on having missed two days so far this week. Trying to get my priorities right, for once. Me thinks I shall be typing whilst stood up quite often, too, unless someone can provide me with a rubber ring a la piles sufferer.

Nobody post ANYTHING exciting for at least 24 hours or I'll instigate a 500 things.

x

I called NHS direct this morning about my back, following my fall yesterday (see number 1 in previous post!).

Diagnosis:

Crunching = either a) a build up of fluid, which the nurse "would normally expect to have dispersed by now, 24 hours after it happened", which leaves the more likely diagnosis of b) I have fractured my lower back.

Only I could break my back on the only day of snow we've had. I knew I shouldn't have worn those boots.

Prescription:

Stay in bed all day, taking codeine. If it is still crunching later, go for an X ray, which I probably should've done yesterday.

So my excessive plan for the day is:

1) Shower, gingerly.
2) Feed the fish.
3) Lay in bed watching the entire Blue Planet box set.
4) Snack.
5) Sleep.

That is pretty much it. But I'm allowed, because I've broken my sodding back. Maybe.

*cough*hugs please*cough cough* OW coughing hurts =(

Yes, another one of these! I have been mentally writing this since I read Landers' first one a few days ago. I haven't come up with many interesting things. Expect fillers. I have read everyone else's, though, so muchos inspiration there.

1) This morning I slipped in the snow and landed on the small of my back. I cried a lot. Something is crunching in it. It hurts. I'm worried.
2) I had a stint as an Avon Lady a few years ago. It's really boring with minimal reward, much like the rest of my life.
3) Super Hans is my seventh hamster but not my favourite.
4) I just told him that, and now I feel guilty.
5) If I was thin, I think I would be a total slut, and enjoy it.
6) For various reasons, I genuinely think I am unable to have kids. This thought upsets me, but it would also be a relief.
7) My DVDs are alphebetised. I was going to do them alphabetised and by genre, but they are almost all Comedy or Gore, so a bit pointless.
8) I clearly remember flinging myself onto my bed, pounding my fists, and telling my mother that I hated her and wanted her to die. I was 5, possibly 6. I can't remember why. It has always stuck with me.
9) At a similar age, I cut most of my hair off and hid it in my toy oven, thinking that if it was hidden, mum would never notice.
10) I am a faster reader than anyone I know, and always have been.
11) I can't do even basic maths without a calculator.
12) I got a new phone today. It's purple.
13) I own more socks than any other type of clothing. Nearly all of them have a garish pattern.
14) It pains me to admit it, but my gerbils are completely devoid of any purpose other than to look cute and keep me awake.
15) I don't like tea or coffee.
16) In September I'm going to do an English MA in Nineteenth Century Studies, because this is what will make me happy.
17) Re the above, my particular interests are Gothic literature, and women and other cultures when represented as 'Other', and how they all weave together, in terms of sexuality, colonialism, etc. So there.
18) I love fish. They are like an ongoing chemistry experiment to me. On the subject on fish, the baby goldfish are growing an awful lot. I still have no idea what to do with them.
19) My sister is pretty much gay, with deviances. It annoys me, because she used to be quite homophobic in her teens. She seems to have forgotten that now.
20) On my 20th birthday I ate about 10 naughty cookies, drank two bottles of champagne (and the rest), and fell asleep on a speaker in a gay bar. I woke up in a red car, and shouted about my coat. Then I woke up again and was back at Halls being put to bed by my poof, who also had to take out my contact lenses. About 6 hours later my dad arrived to take me home for the summer. I had not packed.
21) I hate packing. I hate it so much. I hate it as much as I hate unpacking. I hate that.
22) Muse are my favourite band, although I forget this sometimes. I get excited when I remember.
23) My mind seems to think that I need 8 hours sleep to function. If I am going to get less, it is at the back of my mind, and stops me sleeping.
24) It is currently 00:09, and at the back of my mind, I know I am not going to get 8 hours sleep. If I weren't already in the grip of a period of insomnia, this would keep me awake.
25) I have never owned a dog or cat.
26) I don't know why I bought a 30GB mp3/4 player. I will never fill it. I can't even remember the last time I used it.
27) I have never had a 'relationship' with a man that lasted more than 6 weeks or so, probably because most of my time has been spent forming all consuming and ultimately devastating relationships with girls.
28) That said, these days I am more attracted to men, but still find it hard to imagine a relationship with one ever working out.
29) I am the most overly sensitive person you could meet. I take everything to heart, joke or otherwise.
30) The only part I like about myself is my eyes.
31) I don't know anything about art, at all. This troubles me sometimes.
32) I can't play any instruments, or sing, or read music. I lack accomplishmentslike these...
33) ...however I'm damn useful with a sewing maching and needle and thread. I used to love cross stitching. I have a bag of knitting on the go somewhere. Just rows and rows of different colours. It is relaxing.
34) I have a GCSE in Child Developement. An A, actually.
35) I spent a term at Huddersfield uni doing Psychology. I only chose it because you could do a third year module in the paranormal, and because the Halls had en-suites. You could see the TV from the toilet.
36) I once spent a night in said Hudds Halls drinking peach Archers on my own in my room, whereupon I decided it would be an excellent idea to microwave some wax and de-bikinifuzz myself, whilst watching So Graham Norton (from the bathroom). I didn't feel a thing, funnily enough.
37) I have not listened to At My Most Beautiful - REM since we broke up, S, and I never will be able to again.
38) I used to have 2 mobiles on the go at once. Worked out cheaper to have two contracts, what with S living in Glasgow. One of them was 3000 messages for £20 a month, which I later found it was referred to as "the deaf tariff" in the call centre, as it was deemed impossible for anyone but those unable to hear a phone call to send that many texts a month. Oh, how we proved them wrong.
39) On the whole, sex bores me. No one is quite as good as me.
40) I don't really like any of the scarves I own.
41) I am pure terrified of injections and blood tests. I kicked a doctor in the face when I was 4.
42) It's getting better, but I have always had a terrible relationship with food. I hid it in my room from a young age. Binging, etc. I don't eat anything remotely fruity or veg like.
43) I am quite selfish when I want to be, about stupid things. I don't really like sharing.
44) I prefer my own space and my own company.
45) I can't abide lateness without explanation or apology, and I am usually very early for everything.
46) For 41 - 45 and all my other irritating behaviour patterns, I unfortunately lay the blame firmly on my parents, particularly mother.
47) I love my parents more now than I ever have, because I no longer live at home...
48) ...but they have hurt and upset me more than other people could ever do, and they will likely never acknowledge this.
49) I didn't do a single PE lesson in years 10 and 11. I probably learnt more copying out of the textbooks as punishment every practical lesson than anybody did in that 40 minutes of 'physical education'.
50) I used to be a damn good horserider. I stopped going when I was 17 when I saw my instructor kicking one of my favourite ponies. I don't think anybody had any idea he did that kind of thing, and I still feel guilty for not telling anyone.

*breather*

51) I wonder what will become of me.
52) Rejection, by anyone, for anything, and for any reason, makes me feel humiliated and small.
53) I have a phenomenal memory for song lyrics.
54) One of my many pet peeves is people getting song lyrics wrong for no damn good reason.
55) I have a thing about empty plastic water bottles, especially fruit flavoured ones, and ones with a sports cap. When they are empty and wobbling on a table I want to scream really loud until it stops, then I throw it really far away.
56) I hate mayonnaise.
57) I never add pepper to anything, I really don't like that either.
58) Wn i c ppl ritin lk dis on ma sisters facebk wall it mks me wanna spit lol hahaha. I like to correct these and repost them for their attention, even if I have no idea who they are.
59) Given the choice between a ticket to see RDW in Canada or ticket to see my uncle and his family in NZ, I know which I would choose.
60) Death terrifies me. I am in total denial about it happening to me and get upset when people point out I will die one day. I am freaked out by just writing that.
61) I wish I was a person who could say "life is too short to have regrets" and brush them aside.
62) I love cheeseburgers with bacon and BBQ sauce *drool*
63) My room is a perpetual shit tip.
64) My current job has left me terrified of debt.
65) I'm going to see KT Tunstall on May 4th. She's hot.
66) My earliest memory is eating a creme caramel in Ibiza at a white painted metal table, aged 3.
67) I can't believe you're still reading this.
68) I think either my mum or dad has had a mini forgiveable affair at some point.
69)s are awkward, makes far more sense to just take turns.
70) After Torvill and Dean's performance to 'Let's Face The Music and Dance', I attempted to replicate much of the routine in my own time, wearing rollerskates.
71) Mum once actually put a bar of soap in my mouth for 'swearing'
72) In year 10 my maths teacher, Pervy Pollock, made me stand up, and asked me very loudly if that was really a green bra I was wearing.
73) My laptop is making a funny noise.
74) I don't think I will ever be able to afford to buy a house but really want to just so that I can let it to students.
75) I can't put into words how much I loathe Claire Sweeney and Fearne Cotton.
76) Or Loose Women.
77) I struggle to believe that there is God/gods, because there is no proof, much like I struggle to believe in aliens or ghosts. I still find it interesting to hear both sides of the argument, but I know where I stand.
78) I am incredibly stubborn.
79) I am always right.
80) I always have the last word, whether you hear it or not.
81) I find it hard to trust people and find it hard to forgive people very easily if they break that trust.
82) I prefer older men.
83) I rarely change my bedding.
84) Year I was born.
85) The warmest fuzziest feeling someone has ever given me is the first time S kissed the palm of my hand, it still makes me tingle almost 4 years later.
86) I haven't filled in my Bloscars form yet. It's too hard to decide.
87) I love going fishing with dad, but when I do, I can't help but be aware that I think he really wanted a son.
88) I have a type of ezcema on my right foot, just on the top near my toes and along the side, never anywhere else.
89) I can't speak in front of people, like a presentation or group work, without going hot and dizzy and worrying that I have something on my face.
90) I think I'd make a really good step-mum. Does that sound odd?
91) I am covered with moles literally from head to toe, another thing to thank mother for.
92) I sometimes wish I could drive, but even if I could, I wouldn't want to have a car unless I really needed one, like I had kids or lived in the middle of nowhere.
93) I don't understand politics and have no idea what my political persusasion is.
94) Shit, it's 1.40m
95) I'm currently trying to figure out how to hatch brine shrimp.
96) When I was 14 I went out in town with my best friend on Halloween, got ridiculously drunk, and wet myself waiting for a taxi, but didn't realise. When I got home, mum made me take my trousers off in the hallway in front of my friend. I didn't care. I was more concerned that I had also ripped the knee of them while giving someone a blow job and that I had lost the heel of my shoe after it got caught in the railway tracks while we were running away from a security guard and the lights were flashing because a train was approaching meaning I had to wrench my shoe out the gap. I loved those shoes.
97) I hate The Lion King.
98) Cheese makes my nose itch.
99) I question Macs.
100) I love you all.

...I do wish the news would stop merely say the Rock...

...because when I'm not looking directly at the TV, what I hear takes on a whole new meaning.

Today, I went here. Eden Camp, for the lazy non-clickers (but I shall provide no further details, ha). I went with B and her friend from uni, who was visiting her. This visit was planned at midnight last night. I suspect drink may have been involved in this sudden idea, but we went nonetheless.

I last went here in 1994 whilst on week long trip to Scarborough with school. Mini 9 year old Soy remembers enjoying this trip away from home very much - other highlights included building a crab out of shells, touching my first penis (small), and pissing myself on Scarborough beach. It is safe to say Eden Camp, at least, has not changed whatsoever since then, except to acquire a further 14 years worth of dust. Still bloody excellent though, good to take a grandad to mayhaps.

I took two photos:

This sums up the attention to detail and general niceness of the place. Tell me where you have ever seen a plaque like this before!

So many ship-pictures, but only one name stood out.

I had a happy day. Spending any time with B tends to do that to me. Miss her, as you know.

Over lunch - discussing her decorating her room -
"Are you getting a new bed or having the one out the back room, from your old flat?"
"Probably a new one, that one is quite old now..."
"Ahem, yes, it is..."
(I disappear to toilet (and discover the plaque!))
*beep* 'Why don't you like that bed? It was a good 48hrs!'
Ahem. 'Indeed it was. I don't hate that bed. Shut up now!'
I return to table as she is reading it. We smile. I get a little ache.

After getting back to my flat and they both leave, I get that horrid empty feeling I always get when we've spent the day together and she goes home. Snapped out of it now, but still...sucks.

Not to worry. Glug glug glug.

What five things are you grateful for today and why?

1. I am grateful that it is Friday. Really, very very grateful.

2. I am grateful for it being half term, as my housemate has been able to give me a lift and/or pick me up from work most days this week. My back and sanity are especially grateful to her for this.

3. Today, I am going to go to the fishychippy on the way home, because it is Friday, and therefore a legitimate indulgance. I am grateful for chipshop curry.

4. I am grateful for Super Hans, for he will keep me company while I am alone over the weekend

5. I am grateful for everyone on here who says such sensible lovely things when I clearly need it on yukky days like yesterday.

Maybe it's the day.

Maybe it's memories of spending today in Edinburgh.

Maybe it's thoughts of going out for a meal knowing that friends and family could well see us and just instantly know.

Maybe it is the being alone.

Or maybe, just maybe, it is because we have just had a long and stupid meeting.

And maybe, because of this meeting, I had a biscuit.

I has Biscuit Guilt. I was doing so well!

*sad*.

...just coz, y'know, I'm far too busy to have time for the deluge of Valentine's cards that will arrive in about 9 hours. Gosh, I hope there are less than last year, I was still opening them into March!

Oh, the mirth.

Smut-Nick sounds like Sputnik, hahahahaha. Ahem.

a. list seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself
b. tag seven people to do the same
c. do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it" (WATCH ME!)

1) I can touch my nose with my tongue. It used to be easy, but now it always leaves it feeling strained, and I tell ya, nowt worse than a strained tongue.

2)  If there is some sporting event on TV (like, I dunno, the Limpicks that people keep going on about or summat) then for me the world stops when the ice skating is on, preferably couples figure skating, but also just the mens' solo routines. Love it. In the meantime, the world stops for Dancing on Ice - specifically, Torvill and Dean. Moving on...

3) I have a really strong (or weak, depending on how you look at it) gag reflex. Any talk of poo or sick, tomato seeds, banana smell, bin smell, plus 50 million other things, make me retch and gag until I actually think I might be sick. The only thing that seems to make this stop is sticking my fingers in my ears, closing my eyes, and flinging my legs about whilst shouting "LA LA LA!", even if it is something I've smelt, not seen or heard. 

4) I am absolutely petrified of injections, to the point of vomiting in fear and passing out - but I love piercings.

5) My second toe is longer than my big toe, on both feet. Not by a great deal, but enough.

6) I wear odd socks, deliberately, but they still have to match. Like, when you buy a pack of socks that are the same colour theme, but one pair are spotty and the other are stripes, I will always match a stripey one with a spotty one of the same type. Furthermore, socks must be patterned. I can't wear plain socks. The exceptions are my black days of the week socks, although they do have a coloured heel and toe. I can't wear odd ones of those and they must be the correct day, but I generally only wear the weekend ones. Staying on the sock theme, I HATE IT when they twist around mine or anybody else's foot, so the heel is on the top, especially if it is a coloured heel. It's really uncomfortable, looks WRONG, and makes me scream, so if I start screaming at your foot, that is probably why.

7) I love putting things on my head. I always wrap scarves around it like a turban. I will happily sit with a colander on my head for ages - even better if it's sat on top of a scarf too. I simply LOVE putting things on my head!

I REBEL. I tag anyone who hasn't done it yet!

*SCREAMS MORE*

*READS AGAIN*

SDKLMNFALIGHPV'MAVIQORFN, Row! ROW! ;lknfpavknaurgbqa¬!!!

Ahem.

Much with the incest.

Hollyoaks - accidental brother and sister shag. They find out. They express guilt and remorse. They forget all that, and start it all up again.

Shameless - gay half brothers, bonking. One finds out about parental issues. Mildly disgusted. Bonks the other again anyway, and tells him post-shag.

Much with the ew. Enough!

Gosh, I must say, I kinda feel like...like I'm not supposed to be here. Isn't that weird? Well tough, I am.

I have a glass of wine and a curly wurly, things seems ok, compared to this morning. Had the day off work because I felt like that place would kill me today. I told them I had hurt my back again, and got text lots of sympathy from my boss, whch made me feel guilty. It's a good job, then, that I did actually bugger it up again this afternoon (by laying on the floor and trying to peer into the baby goldfish tank, if you want to know). It better not get too bad overnight, because I do have to go tomorrow (booo).

I went to see Cloverfield the other night. NOT a successful cinema trip. SOMEBODY text me just as I was taking my seat. The buzz made me jump, I knocked my coke, which slopped. When I sat down, I realised much of it had slopped onto the seat. Wet patch bum. When I tried to stand up, I realised much had also slopped onto the floor, so I slipped back into my seat. My Maltesers melted beyond dignified eatability. Furthermore, as we arrived quite late and hadn't booked seats, we had to sit three rows back from the very front. I wouldn't ever sit in those seats to watch a film that wasn't filmed with a handheld camera. Retch! I spent at least the last half an hour with my eyes either shut or firmly fixed on the sturdy and motionless fire exit sign above a door. Serious motion sickness! Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad it I had been sat further back - or at least,if we hadn't been packed in like sardines, I could've put my head between my legs and groaned quietly. Quite a good film though. Would be interesting to study.

I bought 3 new minnows to replace the 2 dead ones. One of them doesn't have a tailfin! He is so wiggly and cute, and SO greedy. I have called him Roy. He is my favourite. I feed him extra shrimp for energy, but shh, don't tell the others =)

The baby fish have upgraded to a new luxury pad, a whole 45 litres of storage tub. They are now over 1cm long! Woohoo! Looking at them from the side, you can see that they are miniture, perfectly formed goldfish, albeit completely transparent ones (apart from one they have full tummies).

I think I did a bit of sleepwalking last night. About 2am, I 'woke up' to realise I was groping for something behind my bookcase, not that there was anything behind it, and nor do I remember dreaming that I was looking for something. I looked around, said aloud "Am I sleepwalking?", noticed the gerbils were looking at me funny, and went back to bed. I wasn't pissed.

Today, I have watched the final half of series 3 of Lost (and now I am even more pissed off that I can't see series 4) and eaten a fair amount of jaffa cakes and yoghurt. I look forward to more productivity tomorrow. I am also now feeling slightly pissed. Huzzah!

Well actually I do have a hell of a lot I want to say. Lots of random things.

However, I have been rendered speechless by the news that our electricity bill has arrived.

It is over double what I expected it to be.

*goes faint*

*sobs at lack of money*

*eats 42 jaffa cakes*

Half an hour to go until I can go home. To fill the time (work? What work? Shh) I shall impart the following knowledge onto the world:

This morning I broke my own personal record for the length of time it took to don the first item of clothing after a shower. A single sock. I sat on my bed, in a towel, holding a sock, and looking between it and my foot, for a solid 35 minutes.

I am about to pee soup again. Not the 6 and a half hour record as before, but still approaching 3 hours, which is still quite impressive. Good for the muscles...or something.

Chomps are fantastic. I don't care about giving up biscuits anymore. Chomps, in their 15p glory, are back in my life and here to stay.

That is all.

Happy weekend all!

1. What would be the contents of your perfect pie?

Chicken and ham in one of that white gravy sauce thang. Puff, not shortcrust, ever.

2. Lift your eyes from the screen - what's the first thing you see and how did it get there?

My tidy desk. Let me show you:

It all got there by my own fair hand, and there it shall stay. Please note Ferrero Rocher wrapper. Don't know what possessed me to eat that *retch*.

3. What, if anything, would you like to get rid of in your life and why?

Overflowing, smelly bins. Because they smell and no one moves them because they are smelly and overflowing.

4. If you were building your own house what one room would you include that you don't have now?

A large room full of species-specific aquariums with super-good filters.

5. When you were little people asked "what do you want to be when you up?". Does your answer then match what you do now?

I wanted to be a vet, then got realistic and wanted to be a veterinary nurse, or I wanted to write. This in no way matches up with what I do now. Now, I give money to students who don't always deserve it and are devoid of any common sense. I spend every working day quietly simmering in rage, thinking about puppies and kittens and gouramis.

1) Darling Brad,

It can no longer work between us. You like crisps, I prefer chocolate. You're gay, I'm...well, Other. You're Luke to my Leia - kin. Furthermore, anymore references to a) us getting married or b) men not being able to get married, and I feel your real beloved may send me a venomous Howler.

Forever yours,

Mooface xxx

2) MORRIS,

My proposal of yesterday was a parodical-Disney induced verbal spasm that I must hastily claw back. Thank you for saying yes. I will never forget that. However, you're beautiful, and you're intelligent, and as much as I love gwinnies, I don't actually own any. I only wish to steal yours. You can do better than me.

Go Team Rodent, always,

Queen of Rodenti xxx

3) Nick,

Forgive me any misdemeanours, my love. I am young and skittish. But I am no harlot. Your harsh words wound me. I have learned my lesson. I have forgotten the others. From now on: Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Are we back on? Please say yes.

With love and rollicking in the stationary cupboard,

xxx

Taking a break from the thrilling and oh-so-important task of going through a very long list of student numbers to identify the overseas and EU ones. These poor mites will have to pay for their recent dyslexia tests themselves. Like they don't pay enough to be here already!?

Anyway.

This morning I found two of the minnows dead and kind of half stuck in the filter. I cried, they looked so pathetic. I hope they didn't die and then get sucked into the filter, as barbaric as that makes me sound, because that means they died of Unknown Causes, which likely means Illness. They were fine last night. If they were ill, that means the other 3, plus my darling Dyson, will probably get It, whatever It is. I think it was the two females, so they may have been egg bound and not been able to lay. Either way: I am sad. They were lovely little things.

I have purchased some brine shrimp eggs for the baby fish. I'm not entirely sure how to get them to hatch. They look like a small bag of heroin at the moment. Tasty.

I have no money alreasdy, so soon after pay day. It's making me sad. I've bought The Blue Planet and series three of Lost to cheer myself up. Doh.

I am a couple of days off sending in a job application, just got to do the niggly parts that don't matter, like my entire working history and why I want the job ("The money "). The job is in London. I really want it. Really, really want it.

As I type this, my boss is talking about the rota that we are trying to set up for when we move back to the refurbished offices, and how she is going to establish in a meeting this afternoon that it isn't fair for me to be on it so often. I'm on the verge of blurting "I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE THEN! I WILL QUIT RATHER THAN BE HERE THEN!". Best not.

I have given up biscuits for the period known as Bent. Well that's what I'm calling it, as I forgot yesterday. So that starts today.

For the record, a Jaffa Cake is not a biscuit.

Oh yeah, hit that, he's hot alright...

Let's all stop what we are doing, down tools/mice, and go for a walk.

The walk must last until the end of the working day.

Following that, we go home.

I am curious to see just what would happen.

Would workmates and bosses notice, or care? Would everything grind to a halt?

I doubt it.

Still can't do it.

Nice to dream though.

Not a single Cake of the Pan

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just thinky.

I'm trying to decide if there is a difference between me being alone and lonely.

I was talking to my boss this evening (working late, shock horror!) about places she'd lived, housemates she'd had when she was a student in the 70s, the literally crazy housemate I had a few years ago, flats, rent etc. I was telling her that I still wasn't massively happy with my current living arrangements and mentioned that it isn't just the money side of things stopping me moving into a flat on my own, it's that I would be lonely. But I'm not sure that it would be any different to how I live now. I feel more alone now that there are three people living here than when it was just the two of us.

I feel even more lonely knowing that there are two people in the other room that I never see than I would if I were just alone in the flat.

I know I'm probably a nightmare flatmate too in my own ways. But not in expensive ways or overly messy ways (I would've hoovered all that sawdust up by now if I could face bending over to do it *wince*). These things probably aren't too important to someone more easy going than me, but I'm incredibly irritated by it, and it is grating at me and making me miserable to be here.

So maybe I should think about moving sooner than I expected and just get used to paying double - nay, triple - the rent I do at the moment. It would mean serious budgeting but it isn't impossible. I have a limited social life as it is so it wouldn't mean too many sacrifices, just mainly when it comes to food shopping and DVDs (may have bought The Blue Planet earlier on, whoops).

Just don't want to end up alone and lonely.

Ahh ignore me, I'm rambling.

How very dare you tell me I'm too young to remember the best thing evah!

One person has worried about Super Hans's peakiness. Admittedly, the only person I expected to be worried. So this is for her.

Here is Hans on a typical evening:

Gorge oneself:

Sleep it off amid the debris of the Gorge:

Stumble to bed and eat peanuts in a daze:

Landers gave me 1992.

Initial reaction: "Ohh not that long ago, easy, I'll do that tomorrow."

At the risk of making some of you feel really old, or just pointing out how very immature I am:

Secondary reaction: "I was eight."

So here we go.

When I was eight:

I liked to collect ladybirds and keep them in shoeboxes.
I also did this with tadpoles in a washing up bowl. One day I put bleach in the water to clean it. They died. I cried.
I got my first hamster, Smudge, she lived to be four.
I hated going to school although I really fancied Paul Richardson (and would only let him use my pencil crayons) and once let him look up my skirt, this made school much better.
One boy at school, Graeme, used to pick his nose and hide it in the board games.
I knocked over a plantpot in the classroom and said "I didn't do it" in true Bart Simpson stylee and the teacher smacked the back of my legs for lying.
I had no comprehension of what "I know you are, I said you are, but what am I?" actually meant and would just keep saying "you're a cow" to people and not get why they laughed.
I liked to blow in people's faces as a punishment.
I had a reading age far beyond any of the books they had in the school and therefore would get told off for daydreaming and not reading, even though I had actually finished the page. (This still happened at uni.)
I fell over in the corridor and split the inside of my lip. I was wearing black patent shoes with pink flowers and mum threw them away because they lacked something mystical called "grip". (The scar is still there and if my lips get really dry, it still splits.
I kissed Phillip, Martin, Luke and Luke all on one day and they called me a prostitute. I didn't understand.
I went on holiday to Majorca with mum, dad and 4 year old Dave and made a brilliant friend called Terri. We wrote to each other until we were about 13. She lived in Kent.
I made friends with G who lived across from me. We're still friends.
I liked doing crafts. Candle making, crochet, French knitting, cross stitch, everything. Still do deep down.
I got mad with my sister for eating ALL of the Corn Pops (excellent cereal that they need to bring back) so I poured them back into the box, milk and all. They went chewy and sticky, but to make a point, I ate them anyway.
I loved my Smarties mug. Everything had to be in the Smarties mug.
Mum stuck a bar of soap in my mouth for saying bloody hell. I still maintain to this day that I actually said blummin hell. She doesn't believe me.

I can't think of anything else.

Right outside my front door was a very long worm. How he came to be there, I do not know. He was very dry, but still trying his hardest to get somewhere, anywhere. I couldn't have this. I scooped him up, intending to transfer him to the patch of green from whence he came. Then I realise that, other than weeds, there is precisely nil greenery in the immediate vicinity of my flat, so really, where the hell had he appeared from? I spotted a small patch of weeds near the wheelie bins and popped him on there, out of the wind at least. "Thanks, Soy", he said. "You've just saved my life. You shall be rewarded by the Worm Gods."

I am waiting for my wormy reward.

In other news, I'm losing my mind.

David Attenborough makes everything better. His mere presence on TV, or even just his voice, lulls me into a kind of trance. I'm now in a reptile trance. I want to be a tiny lizard, nom-nom-nomming on a fly. Looks tasty. Or a tortoise attempting to fight another one and flicking it on its back.

And now I want the gecko that Steph wouldn't let me buy.

Gimme gimme gecko.

Other Daves I love include Dave the TV channel, for it's Top Gear goodness, and Dave my sister, who has just paid me the £75 she owes me for parental Christmas presents. Thank you, Dave. I can now buy series 3 of Lost.

Dave is a good name.

More vin, Dave?

Went to the doctor about my back today. It's been hurting over a week, and now in two places.

Turned out to be another dazzling display of empathy and efficiency from a local GP surgery.

Reception:

"Hello, I have an appointment at 4.30"

"We do have an electronic checking-in system now to save you time *gestures to touch screen monitor on desk in front of her*"

"Oh, very swish. Well -"

"So if you'd like to just follow the on screen instructions to let us know that you're here..."

"Even though I'm stood here, talking to you? Fine, fine..."

*proceed to enter details onto very smeary computer screen, including random letters of name, DOB, appointment time, house number, birth weight, reading age and MENSA IQ*

"It says I don't have an appointment booked. It was a cancellation, I booked it on Friday afterno-"

"Oh well you should've said *consults paper records, clicks on her own computer a few times* There, try it again"

" *repeats, this time entering IP address, height age 12, shoe size and pH* It has worked now. I'm here."

"Now the doctor knows you're here! Take a seat and he will call you on the board when he is ready."

*takes seat in empty waiting room and watches receptionist walk down the corridor and tell the doctor I'm here*

Five minutes later, my name flashes up in large red letters. He is Ready.

Surgery:

"Well it's my back, it's been playing me up for about a week, *here* and *here* (etc. etc.)"

"Weeellll. There isn't a lot that can be done for back pain if it has only been a week. It might go away sooner if you take painkillers and have warm baths."

"No shit I have been to the chemist and have been taking extra strong ibuprofen, it was the chemist that told me to come here after it has been hurting a week. Can you give me anything stronger?"

"Weeellll. No, not really, not at this stage. Try sitting more upright with cushions in your lower back to keep you...upright."

"Tried it. Tried sitting bolt upright with and without cushions. Tried laying on my side. Tried laying flat on my back on the floor. Tried sitting against a wall. It's keeping me awake."

"Weeellll. You've obviously pulled a muscle and inflamed something which is causing the pain in your leg. Try these stretching exercises. And keep taking painkillers. And have a bath."

""

"You're also rather fa- "

"Yes, thank you, I'll give those a try *snatch*"

At home:

*throw stretching stuff onto desk, swallow pills and climb onto bed*

"Aaaaahhhhhh".

Guess I'm just going to have to put up with it for now.

Sleep has not been my friend of late and it has now become full on battle. I thought I had the upper hand on Friday night, falling asleep before midnight, following the Gorging. Saturday night, nicht so good either (oh would you look at that random German word popping in there, see, I'm delerious).

Last night Sleep decided to keep me awake by tossing and turning all night and just being a general nuisance until just after 4am. I had been planning on being efficient and early on time for work, but Sleep found it far more amusing to physically hold down my eyelids, causing some kind of freakish fit-like eyerolling which lasted about 10 minutes.

Sleep then decided to actually kick me out of bed, where my right hip then connected with a plug. Sleep mocked while I struggled to get up.

Sleep then tried to drown me in the shower by making me rest my head against the wall and nod off until I nearly fell over.

I then found myself to be so overcome by Sleep that I had to slouch against my wardrobe in only a towel and have a small nap before it allowed me to dress.

And lo, I was late for work.

By consuming biscuits I am managing to fight back, but I feel my strength waning. Sleep wants me to sit under my desk where it is dark and hidden and I can rest my back.

Let battle commence.

Stupid title, cute picture, had to be done.

You Are a Strawberry

You are friendly, outgoing, and well liked by many people. You are popular, but there's nothing ordinary or average about you. You are a very interesting person, and you have many facets to your personality. Sometimes you feel very conflicted. Your different sides of your personality pull at you. You are a very sensual and passionate person. You are fiery... you can't help it. In general, you keep your passionate side under wraps. You are only wild in private.

Who knew strawberries were so multi-faceted?

Definitely going to bed now!

I'm not particularly interested in watching this particular film, this million dollar boxing baby whatsit, but I will have it on in front of me, because in one's humble opinion, Hilary Swank is rather hot.

Or. OR. I will go to bed. For this has gone to my HEAD. Heeeeeeeeead.

In other news I want a CAT.

I have the urge to paint something.

Perhaps a wall.

Back hurts again. In between shoulder blades, but a little lower, and to the right. Needs rubbing I think. Alas. Can't reach.

*looks around room*

Would anybody even notice if I weren't sat here right now? If I just walked out the flat and went...well, anywhere? I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just suddenly aware that I'm really really alone.

Thursday
Work boring as hell, but went out for lovely meal with V and H (from old flat). Lots of random chatter and eyeing up waiters. Consumed: Lovely cheesey chickeny bacony thing, with gratin potatoes, followed by chocolate honeycomb cheesecake, washed down with lots and lots of wine.

Friday
After G and Fish Boy eventually arrived, we went into town for something to eat. Atrocious weather, blowing us out our skins and pelting us with sleet. Consumed: turkey, cranbery and stuffing baguette, and lemon cheesecake that G "would literally eat off the floor. Seriously. Off a path". It was pretty good. We went to an aquatic shop near town I hadn't been to before and oh my goodness I have never seen so many tanks of fish in one shop! And not a single dead one anywhere! Pets at Home, look and learn. The owner did, however, sell me brine shrimp food and not brine shrimp eggs. Tsk. He did say that if any of the baby fish make it to a couple of inches he would arrange some store credit for me, though. Better than nothing.

Then we went to see some proper fish:

I like The Deep. I'm going to start going on my own.

Back at home, the night out was put on hold due to the bad bad BAD weather, so like classy birds we opted for cans of diet coke topped up with vodka, true sixth-form stylee, with a Very Large Chinese Takeaway, and series one of Peep Show. I took off my scarf, and large lumps of stuffing fell out from lunch. Nice. Was an evening of lots and lots of laughing and smiles and forget-your-troubles-come-on-get-happy. Bed by half 11, quite tipsy and tired. The last thing I said before falling asleep was "I can't stop thinking about that octopus. Blatantly showing off. All those tentacles...". Interesting dreams ensued.

Saturday
Long lie in, just chatting. More Peep Show. Then to the cinema to see Sweeney Todd - again. Much better the second time when you can sing along. Johnny, come here and let me suck your face.
Consumed: pop corn, half a bag thereof. Too much and I get full of air *rumble*.
Straight to Frankie and Benny's for MORE food. G pointed out to me that the waitress was clearly flirting with me. I just don't notice these things, partly because it never happens, but as much as it pains me to say it I think she may have been right this once. My meal choice was "excellent - I'm going to have that for my tea I think!", "ooh I've got that scarf too", "can I get you anything else, or just your dessert?", "I'm going on my break now, so Rob will have to see you off I'm afraid". Doesn't sound much written down here, but she practically ignored G other than taking her order. Was all a little bit odd.
Consumed: Garlic & herb chicken thing with something cheesey and pasta, and cinnamon waffle ("ooh I love cinnamon too"). It is safe to say that by this point I was feeling fairly...umm...compacted.

Today
NOT a good lie in, hmph. Baby fish have been transferred to the larger container, and although I don't know if they are going to survive, at least they have a better chance in there. I've spent this afternoon with V and H in a coffee shop. No coffee consumed...:
Rasberry waffle cheesecake, white chocolate milkshake, and due to feeling like I was about to barf after 4 days of pure cake, dairy and carb consumption, raspberry and echinacea tea.
I shan't mention the pizza I've just eaten, or the mint Green and Blacks I had for 'breakfast', or the billion jaffa cakes, or the second glass of red wine I'm currently scarfing.

I. Feel. Shite.

Not to worry, I'll just get pissed, fall asleep and forget about all the calories. Won't forget the lovely weekend though. I think G and I decided to get a flat together, we were a bit drunk. Where in the country that will be, I'm not sure. Nor do I really care. Sooner the better.

Me update - Friend G has gone back to London this evening and I miss her already! We've had such a good time, laughing so much, I wish she didn't have to work tomorrow. Want to blog everything but have come down with a mahoosive headache all of a sudden (could it be that I have only eaten crap and drank caffeine-loaded drinks for about four days? Surely not) so I think I am going to drink a lot of water and go to bed. This will likely mean a wee in the night, but I'm a big girl, I can cope with that.

Fishy update - all 70ish babies are still alive. This could still all go wrong though. The mommas and papa need cleaning out. The minnows are sulking as normal. Dyson is sucking some bogwood happily.

Super Hans update - he seems a little peaky. I've had enough hamsters to know that something is wrong. He shall be monitored. I will be sad if he snuffs it so soon.

Gerbils update - I've remembered I have them, and have fed them, and given them a wooden bridge. They seemed pleased by this.

Headache badoombadoombadoomthrob. Adieu, until the morrow.

Oh my...OH MY....arrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I'm not ashamed to admit I just jumped up and down in excitement and ran around the room in my knickers.*

Five? I didn't expect one, there are just too many people on here!

*Yes, Nick, I'm getting dressed. Sorry.

Just because the lady loves staying in bed a bit longer...

1. What was the last thing you complained about?

I realised the futility of formally complaining a long time ago. It rarely gets you an acknowledgement, let alone any form of recompense. I have done my fair share of complaining about trains (fear my wrath, Strathclyde!) but they had an answer for everything. I rarely send food back, unless it is cold or burnt, mainly because I won't eat anywhere I might need to do that. Plus it embarasses me, and I end up apologising for complaining.

2. When was the last time you really got really great customer service?
Last night, in Prezzo on the top floor of St Stephens in Hull. It was quite busy, for a thursday evening anyway, but all the staff were friendly and attentive, the service was quick, the food was lovely. Plus it wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be - 3 starters, 3 mains, 2 desserts, 1 coffee, 1 coke and 1 bottle of wine - under £60. I must stress that wasn't all for me.

3. What's your policy on leaving a tip?
Round up the bill, leave 10%. If the food and service have been dire, nothing at all.

4. Are you one of the people trying to reclaiming your credit card or bank charges?
Reclaimed charges for going overdrawn because they had taken two loads of direct debits, but that was their damn fault and it took too long to sort out. They should've given me more back to say sorry, I think.

5. Call centres are ________________________
A pain to work in, a pain to call, but when you really need to get something sorted out they are a neccessity. A geordie on the other end of the phone instantly makes things more bearable. They should all be geordies.

Not like that.

Must get up. Oldest friend G is coming up from London to see me. She gets here in about 2 hours. I am currently half naked and eating cereal. I really, really need to do something productive, like move. My room is an absolute tip, clothes everywhere, bags of rubbish, tubs of goldfish (70 babies! 70!), tubs of dirty water, piles of underwear that may or may not be clean (I actually have no idea, must have a sniff), WIRES so many WIRES, single random shoes, and *counts* 5 glasses and 4 bowls. And a half glass of evaporating red wine. Nice touch.

Add to that that I really need a shower.

And should probably change my sheets, seeing as she'll be in my bed. Not that they're dirty, they're just not as fresh as my mother would like them.

Fish Boy is off work today and coming over. He is picking her up from the station and we're going for lunch. They are both very excited about the baby fish. Three fish geeks in a group - Hull beware!

And tonight, G and I intend to get bladdered like the good old days. Awesome. I need cheering up big time.