I woke up quite late for work today. 9.05am, to be precise.

I had cake for breakfast. Quite a lot of cake, actually, it was very nice.

I gave some tiny cake crumbs to the gerbils and I have never seen them so excited or thankful for anything, not since the blessed days of the Jaffa Cake tube anyway.

I got to work for 11.12am. I live 15 minutes away.

For lunch, I had leek and ham pasta. It was rather nice. The sauce was uncannily similar to the potato and leek soup I had for lunch yesterday. Recycling food? Surely not. Broon would be pleased though, I'm sure. The Myton Servery - single-handedly reversing the economic concerns of the nation. W00t.

I've decided I don't want anything else with leeks in for a while.

I'm looking online at cats to adopt, even though I can't at the moment. I can look though, innit.

I have a crick in my neck, and I might be getting man flu again. Trauma!

I've decided that, for now at least, I'm not going to pay the invoice for the water cooler hire, because I'm curious as to what will happen if I don't. Will they take it away? Will they put sealant in the spout? Will we have to use the kitchen tap? Who knows. Let's find out.

The female toilets are leaking again. I thought it was water. I walked in it to look down the toilets and ascertain cause. It wasn't water. I genuinely don't know what it was. I have made a very sexy Out of Order sign and walked away from it.

There are 15 and 16 year old children everywhere for some Summer School scheme. They have taken to eating their lunch and listening to tinny mobile phone music in the lobby at the bottom of the staircase leading to our office. Four of them were sat on the bottom step, and I had to ask them to move three times before they deigned to acknowledge me and my unfavourable presence in their lives. "Cretins", I barked, stalking past them. "Whaddid she say?", one asked. "Is she foreign?".

Another thrilling day.