Ho hum.

...will pack it, will fuck off

The annual Wintertime North Atlantic Ocean Sea Cruising Experience (aka mini-break to Amsterdam) has been booked for the 29th November, for the pricely sum of £38.

I am on duty that weekend, but I shall worry about that nearer the time

I feel I need to declare the following: WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!

Taking in the culture:

Enjoying local delicacies:

La la la...

Well helloooo. Missing me? HA!

I still don't have internet access in the flat but I am going to work on that tonight. It is potentially a bad thing, though, given how many books I have to handle and READ over the next YEAR. Remember books? I have done fairly well going (almost) a week without the internet and I think I could make do with using machines on campus just to check email and do the vitals (like poke Subz)...

...yeah, I'm kidding myself, I know.

SO.

Well, I'm broke. I have to hand over almost £1500 by the end of the week and then find money to pay my rent. This will be interesting, as the bank will only give me a £500 overdraft, and I actually have less than the above figure in the bank. As the title says - ho hum. I need to get applying for jobs ASAP. Someone nag me about that, ok? Just not in the way my dad does else I'll shout at you.

Living in Halls again is...amusing. The students don't seem that bad, yet. They have, of course, only been there two nights. Nobody has woken me up yet, and actually last night the guys and gals in my wing went to bed before me, so I'm hoping that lasts. There are a few nobbers of course - you can spot them easily, they are the ones with a can of Fosters or an apple VK in their hand at all hours - but, meh, doesn't really bother me. They all look the same. Boys are either very, very thin, with dark hair and glasses, or they're chubby, with a band t-shirt on, with baaaad straggly hair, or they are trendeh. Girls are all incredibly thin and blonde, or a loud dumpy gobshite, or a quiet dumpy geek. Being a quiet dumpy geek myself, I like these ones.

We had a fire alarm drill at 7.40am today - yes, that Ungodly Time of Pre-8am - and they all got out in good time, although many did appear to be almost naked - not just because they had been in the shower at the time, HA! - and another girl had brought makeup out with her. Morons.

As predicted, the food in the evening is pretty grim. The cost of it is included in my rent so it isn't technically free, but it is a bit of a relief to only worry about buying really basic staples for the year to feed myself. For the record, basic staples are: bread, ham, cheese (the possible combinations with these three items are endless, srlsy), Clover, lemonade, mini rolls, Innocent smoothies (when on offer, supermarket brand when not), microwave meals along the pasta/chill wedges variety, Jaffa cakes, ready salted crisps, vodka, tonic and red wine. And chocolate. And tins of tuna. Brain food, fish, innit.

I actually start my course on the 6th. I have no idea what my timetable is. I am curious about when I shall recieve it. I know better than to rush the English department, though. There's lots of tea to drink in this world, after all, and they can't do two things at once.

I would read all your posts from the past week, but I can't be bothered

I have to go, I'm going to wee myself. Buh bye now, bye, bye. No, you hang up! Oh - you did.

Back to Hull tonight! Well, I will be in a few hours anyway, a bit of last minutes packing to do. Mum, bless her, is doing the sensible things like pots pans plates, while I do important things like whittle my gargantuan CD and DVD collection down to two small piles.

I took some stuff over to my room last night. It's nicer than I thought it would be - in terms of size, not plushness - although my bathroom does lack a shower. I'm not a bath fan. Hmph.

I'm going to paint the inside of my wardrobe, as the obscenities in that offend even my crude brain. Plus, the drawings of penises are very poor. I'm going to paint the front of my chest of drawers too - there's only one thing written on it, and that is "Sven is an arse-raping midget", which I quite enjoy, but I can't ever let my mother see that. Nor can I let her see the inside of the drawers either, although someone has very kindly written "Careful - the bathroom floor is dead slippery". Aww. Helpful graffiti.

I enjoy my 'On Duty/Off Duty' sign on my door. I think I know which why that will be facing 90% of the time. I may add "DON'T FUCKING WAKE ME UP YOU RETARDS" but that might not go down in the humourous way I intend it to.

All that is left on my to do list for this afternoon:

Shower.
Tell mum how to look after the fish.
Kiss Super Hans.
Tickle Lady Lucy.
Throw anything remaining in bedroom into a binliner and throw that in the car.

Hectic.

Incidentally, the new Kings of Leon album is AMAZING. I am happily going to play that to death, it deserves it.

I might not have net access OR TV access for a few days sooooo I'm going to unpack straight away and try not to think about that *wibble*.

Wish me luck. Ta-ra.

...but then I got sent some things, so I'm posting them instead, drying my eyes, and clutching my stomach

One more...

Those are the two noises I made whilst consuming one of the Vodka Kick chocolates in my Box of Delights.

I swear it had an entire shot of vodka in in.

In fact I'd call it a ball of creamy, melting chocolate flavoured vodka.

Might wait until after 6pm for the other one

Yadda yadda.

...66. I hope you're having a luvverly day xx

I have eaten a fair quantity of the below box of chocolate delights.

My favourites so far are the raspberry liqueur truffle, pomengranate truffle, orange and grand marnier ganache, and Mandel Croquant, which is an creamy almond praline with crunchy almond toffee.

The crispy caramel praline which Subz picked out for me earlier tasted like a Kinder Bueno. Still good though. Can't knock Buenos. Plus, it had a nipple. Giggle.

A fair quantity of these chocolates contain a great deal of alcohol. I am yet to try the vodka kick, which is probably for the best, as I am slightly squffy, mainly due to the vat of red vin I have also consumed.

I am not ashamed to say that whilst writing the above sentence I swayed so far to one side that I almost fell off the bed.

I am feeling...WHEEEE!

Hamster news: Lucy bit my ankle, which fecking hurt more than I can describe, and Super Hans has dragged an entire cotton scarf into his cage and gone to bed in the middle of it.

Fwing fwing fwing. Fwing.

Terribly sorry if I've bored anyone.

*Will let it go eventually*.

I'm feeling romantic and I don't have anyone to share it with. That's pretty shit isn't it? I'll sleep it off.

Last night, in an effort to save a little money every month, I cancelled all the standing orders I have to various charidees (see last night's post - unless you're Tom, in which case, bog off), with the exception on CRUK, who are still getting £1. I couldn't totally cancel that one. It wouldn't let me.

I think I better cancel this too, and leave it as a one off:

There are worse things to recieve in the post really. Such hardships I face. All that scoring out of ten I have to do!

I may have changed the delivery options to every 12 weeks, meaning I may get a nice little surprise at Christmas.

I also got a CD in the post, but it's a 3 Disc one and it was a bargain on eBay. Remember eBay?

To counteract this, I have in the corner of my room a parcel ready to send back to a company that merrily supplied me with a gazillion pairs of pyjamas and approximately 347 bras, ordered online while I was completely off my tits (no pun intended). For this drunken error, they charged me over £300. How rude. £123 of it is going back. The rest is too pretty to part with.

I am going to eat my chocolates whilst wearing my new comfy pyjamas and listening to my new CD. You will find that image under a dictionary entry for 'greed'. Or perhaps 'neccessity'. I have a very stressful year ahead, I'm going to make the most of this weekend!

So, due to me deciding to stay in Hull and do that bloody MA you're all fed of hearing about, living at the hall I didn't want to go to, but am now bloody glad I am going to go to instead of the other one (I'd say long story, but it isn't, it's short and boring), I am now officially broke again.

So, that's fun.

In an attempt to control all unneccessary outgoings, I have started the process by cancelling every charity standing order I have. They might have only been a few quid each, but it totalled enough to buy me a new bra/CD/DVD every month, which I will need, for the standard female reason of "just because".

Got to start the budgeting somewhere. Minimal guilt, I'm afraid.

...to tell you what's going on at the moment. You'll have to be patient and wait for me to arrange my thoughts.

I think it's all fairly positive though.

In other news, I have a large toblerone to devour, and devour it I shall.

I'm a Halifax customer, and I'm not worried in the slightest, because I don't have any money anyway.

My primary concern is:

They are going to have to stop making the all singing, all dancing, all camping, all prancing, all here-chavs-take-our-loans adverts now, aren't they?

Aren't they?!

*Prays to anything that might be listening* "Please smite Thomas from the Leeds Branch, and all the other fuckers on that CGI beach..."

...isn't ending. It's a bit of a miserable one, really.

I haven't had a phonecall I was hoping to have recieved by now. I'm supposed to be getting one either way, but really, it's getting on a bit now...I'm staring at my phone but nothing is happening. Bah.

I went for a walk with my nanna up to the windmill. I didn't really feel like going, and I was a bit rude to her at one point, a bit snappy. Not like me at all.

Super Hans is getting thin and old. Drinks a lot more water these days. He's still bright eyed and speedy (after a long warm up routine) but I've had enough hamsters to know that he's... Still, he may surprise me for a bit longer. Aww. Wee beastie

This evening is going to be a long one. Time to put a pizza in and get pyjamas back on

...because I'm too drunk to follow Poirot.

Word Association

1. pink ... cadillac
2. shoe ... horn
3. zebra ... crossing
4. school ... tie
5. button ... up
6. kiss ... me
7. over ... and over and over and over...
8. pool ... guy
9. run ... away
10. seven ... prostitutes
11. dew ... berry
12. apple ... cider
13. building ... bridges
14. hat ... pin
15. book ... worm
16. song ... 2
17. banana ... ew
18. plane ... train and automobile
19. tyre ... blowout
20. light ... blue

Well that WAS riveting.

*thud*

Dear Ms Perdedor,

Thank you for your request to join the Tasting Club.
Your introductory selection will be sent to you within 10 days.

Best wishes

Customer Experience Team
Hotel Chocolat Tasting Club

Y'know when you have a bee in your bonnet about something, and it just won't go away, no matter how many Jaffa Cakes you eat, or Sue Perkins clips you watch on YouTube?

It's made all the worse that I really don't need to be thinking like this - it's pointless and unneccessary and paranoid and annoying.

Meh. I'll cope.

Maybe it's just the godawful hangover.

In other news -

About an hour ago I had an overwhelming urge to watch Lord of the Rings, so overwhelming that I even got up to look for the DVD in my boxes of crap that I haven't unpacked. I couldn't find it though - another thing to annoy me - and made peace with the fact I would probably have to watch something with Fearne Cotton in at some point during the evening. Then, I switch over to Channel 4 and LO and behold, LOTR! I am freaked out but it's exciting when things like that happen. (To me they are.)

What else? Oh yes, I can't breathe again. Fun times. Wheeze. Bloody Dementors at it again, I reckon. Yes, I've taken what the doctor gave me, no, I'm not going to hospital. It'll pass.

Super Hans is awake

Have admitted defeat with the cross stitching giftness. My eyes are going funny and my wrist is hurting. (No, I am not a teenage boy looking at too many boobs.) I will have to send it to her in the post. Good plan.

I have to get up at 7am tomorrow, and leave the house at 8am, and get a bus to town. Then, I have to get a bus to Hull. Then, bus to the Uni. Rejoice. Forty-five minutes by car, almost three hours by bus. Still not an incentive for me to learn to drive again. Anyway, it's dependant on me managing to get up,my body clock is starting to be happy with 10am starts. I'm staying over too so I should probably go PACK a BAG, horror horror.

Oh, but - Family Guy is on. I'll move soon...

Night night.

Scenario 1

Get up, breakfast, shower, make self presentable, tidy room (for it is strewn with £209 of pyjamas and bras, all of which are wholly conducive to me saving money, honest), clean out the hamsters (stinky), clean out the fish (kinda yellow), have sandwich (hurrah!), await arrival of B at 1pm in order to help her move house because I am kind and she has a lot of crap (whilst subtley reminding her she owes me £15, and possibly a bar of Dairy Milk), return home approximately 7pm, and cross stitch my brains out (unfortunately that's not a euphemism) in order to complete a present for someone who is leaving Hull tomorrow. Maybe with a glass of wine.

Scenario 2

Stay in bed, carry on watching Channel 4 + 1, have large bowl of Special K, watch Poirot (perhaps Inspector Morse), cross stitch like a mad woman who is mad and needs to do a lot of stitching, make a sandwich, stitch and/or nap, make curry, add finishing touches to stitchy-stitchy, drink red wine (and maybe eat crisps), early night in readiness for early morning (by which I of course mean approximately 8.45am) to catch bus to Hull.

Scenario 1 involves leaving the house and seeing B. I might also get the chance to buy some toothpaste.

Scenario 2 involves lethargy, finishing present, and a definite increased potential for wine.

I cannae choose, Cap'n. Best carry on watching ER until I decide.

...Soy will play.

Or so they probably wish.

They've gone off to Cyprus for a week, and I'm rather glad. This is MY week's holiday from incessant, nonsensical moaning.

I can never win with my parents. I think they do sometimes wish I was a slutty crackwhore with four babies under three years old. At least that would mean I was out socialising.

To their probable dismay, this next week will likely be pretty much the same as the past week. Internet, Poirot, and sandwiches.

With one exception.

*Turns the heating up*

Now, back to my cross stitching, and I do believe Poirot and his associate Captain Hastings are getting into the swing of things on ITV3...

It is Sue Perkins conducting Beethoven.

Hit me with your rhythm stick.

This morning I stood at the kitchen window eating my breakfast, watching a bit of drama on the back fence.

There was a squirrel, a robin, and in the middle of it all, a tree with a birdhouse in it.

The squirrel was making its way along the fence towards the tree. It stopped right next to the birdhouse. The robin went a bit mad, chirping and flicking its wings everywhere, making an awful lot of fuss. I don't know why it was making so much fuss; there isn't anything in the birdhouse for the squirrel to have. The robin has never nested in there, either. The robin didn't try to drive the squirrel away, just let it know it was there.

The squirrel, however, wasn't heading for the birdhouse to try and raid it. It's pouring down with rain at the moment, and it was looking for a bit of shelter. It sat behind it, looking rather cute, washing its tail. The robin stopped chirping, but didn't stop watching it. Eventually, it ran off down another fence.

I wasn't the only bystander; a blackbird, sulking in the rain, sat on the other side of the fence, and didn't ruffle a feather.

I've no inclination to blog for the time being, not until I can come up with something that may be deemed worth saying.

As folk often say, it is the people that make this place, the 'community', the friendships.

To be honest, it isn't being called a bitch and a bully that is the problem. Bad feelings towards me, from someone I don't get on with anyway, I can cope with. It's the way I've felt people view me as being a pain in the arse by mentioning it, and sticking up for myself. How dare I bring public bad feeling to happy blogland. Ha! Like no one has ever done that before, and never will again!

The massive support network here has carried me along for nearly two years, but I see and feel a few parts of it starting to crumble. So, I just want to take a step back for a little while. Maybe not for long, but as long as I need to.

Discuss.

Well I just had to try it, as I like to have a little play with new thingumibobs.

The first web page I typed in was BCUK...

This web page is not available.

The web page at null might be temporarily down or it may have moved permanently to a new web address.

Okkk...try again...no joy. Try Facebook. Joy! Try failblog.org. Joy! Try BCUK...no joy.

I do like the combined search and web address bar, quite nifty, but if it can't bring up this site, it can bagger orf.

I may be in a bad mood.

I feel very sulky and upset. I'm not sure why. I didn't wake up like it, it's come on in the past couple of hours or so. I am on the verge of tears and it's IRRITATING me beyond belief because nothing has happened to cause it!

It's not hormones, I know what that feels like that. That doesn't make me upset, it makes me want to injure butterflies.

I want things I can't have - that's always enough to make me grumpy.

Oh well - music might help. I'll get on with updating dad's mp3 player. I have told him 4 times how to do this, and written it down with step by step instructions, but (conveniently?) he has forgotten, just in time for him and mum going to Cyprus next week, and in need to musical poolside entertainment. Mum has simply requested I add the new "Charleen Spiterro" one to hers. Okidoke dear.

Ooh, as a postscript: Kendersrule, if you call me a bitch and tell me to go fuck myself again (or anyone else for that matter), I'm reporting you. What I said in that comment was not malicious. "Push" back by all means, it won't get you very far.

Clicky and so on.

So now that I am unemployed, I need something to fill my days, preferably something that doesn't involve a computer screen, unpacking, or leaving the house. Or dressing. Or showering.

So.

Of late I find myself bereft of animal life. I prefer animals to people, so this rather upsets me.

I have NO goldfish - DISTRESSING! The babies were put into a pond yesterday with their parents. As I have already regretfully informed Nick (although I suspect he had no idea what I was talking about), Old-Fish was, I think, snatched and devoured by a maniacal water boatman, along with, I think, Fuzzzy. Subfish, however, being a bit larger and, well, less deformed, promptly ate a water boatman. I found it rather poetic, in a nature/circle of life kind of way, once I had stopped screeching at the insects responsible, and dried my eyes.

Ahem.

SO, this leaves me with the minnows, Dyson, Sheldon, Lucy, and Lord Super Hans.

The minnows, despite being the rabbits of the fish world, are failing to produce babies for me.

Dyson and Sheldon may as well be sexless. Anyway, Dyson hates Sheldon and chases her/him/it all over the tank trying to kill and/or maim. Aww.

So this leaves Lucy, who is pretty but crazy, and Hans, who is beautiful and mellow.

I want to see what happens if I put them together...pregancy may mellow Lucy, or, more likely, she would just eat the babies. But if she didn't...

BABY HANSES! OH MY! My very own baby hamsters to love and cuddle.

Lucy has got out of her cage during the night twice since Friday, so, y'know...I could make it look like an accident...

...I plot. Quietly. Musn't let mum know...

I think I say more in PMs to some people on here than I ever end up blogging.

I does rather make me wonder and question things.

Some days I think I could never leave here. Some days I think it's really time to go, spend less time on the computer, and more time in the real world.

Some days I just feel the negative outweighs the positive.

*shrug*

Excited voiceover: In 'Reveal' this week - Posh puts on weight!

Righto.

a) Can she ever win? Why don't we have a phone vote to decide what weight she should be and make her stick to it, seeing as fat Britain knows best.
b) How is this a good example to kids (yadda yadda yadda)?
c) Why is this news!? WHY?! Rant!

More importantly, though, I require a serving wench to bring me the other half of that pizza in the kitchen. Oh nom nom nom...

It's September already! The horror.

That is all.