Ho hum.

Yep, as predicted, she's been given the boot for being a hussy. Hardly a landslide though, with 60% of the vote. I really wanted Marcus to go instead. Never understood the logic of voting out the interesting people first.

Fingers crossed Bea gets hers claws into Isaac in Noirin's absence, but he seems a bit thick and probably won't notice what she's trying to do. Or, he might walk out now that she's gone. That will leave Bea stuck with Freddie pawing at her, giggling and "Yah, yah" ing along with everything she says. Bleugh.

Bad result - that's the drama over with.

Obviously going to carry on watching it though.

Pre-nominations, Noirin was being snuggly and snoggy with lovely Siavash. Joe Public likes such things.

This meant Marcus was sulking like a surly 15 year old girl. Joe Public does not like such things.

But today they've put Noirin's ex in the house, Isaac (who is a monumentally arrogant cunt, btw). Noirin has spent the afternoon snogging him. Horror!

This has left Siavash sad, and he has made friends with Marcus because they are both sad because Noirin is a slag who has used and abused them - cue violins.

So therefore I will be VERY surprised if Marcus is evicted on Friday - unless of course he got too many votes before all this for Noirin to overtake him.

I don't really like either of them though, so no loss either way.

And that's all I have to say about that.

As I've mentioned before, the hall is being refurbished at the moment so I'm kind of all over the place. I've managed to get a definite day out of the site manager for when my flat will be painted and have a new carpet put in - 3rd August - but it's really hard to get a straightforward answer out of him vi email. He just sort of agrees, but also doesn't mention anything you said. He also makes every answer to a question sound like he's really annoyed and harassed that you've emailed him - but in person he's really nice and starightforward. (It's a pity I always forget to ask him things when I see him.)

I get the feeling he doesn't want me to email him again about this - but I might have to, because I don't understand this:

Me: "I forgot to ask, are the kitchen and bathroom going to be painted as well, or can I leave my things in them?"

Him: "Yes !!"

I daren't reply "...Yes to what?!". I'll risk it.

At 3.36am this morning, I awoke with a start.

Brushing my nose, I went into a panic. Where was my nose stud?

I put the light on and started running my hands all over the pillows and mattress trying to find it, then the floor, then in my pyjamas, then in my hair, everywhere it could've got to.

I couldn't understand how it could've come out all of a sudden, yet the one on the right side of my nose hadn't...

In my half-asleep state, I was frantically searching for a nose stud that I believed to be one of a matching pair, one on each side of my nose.

At 3.48am, with my finger up my left nostril searching for a non-existant lump of metal, it suddenly occured to me what I was doing.

I checked my nose in the mirror for an extra hole anyway, before sheepishly climbing back into bed.

I'm weird.

If you licked Katie Price's cheek, what would she taste of?

I think she would taste of fags and old bronzing powder.

Jenniebaby thinks she is delectable and would taste of strawberry ice cream.

Discuss.

Brilliant.

As per.

IDKW rocks my world.

We had a very good night last night, and I haven't been sick (yet) today, so it has been a very successful event indeed. I was rather wasted though, and understandably so, as tea last night was a handful of chocolate raisins and a bread roll crammed into my mouth 30 seconds before going for the bus - on top of half a bottle of rose. Whoops.

The listing of places to go in August went quite well at first:

1) Let's eat there!
2) Let's then come here for drinkys and chatting as it's quite quiet early on.
3) Oh dear we're drunk now aren't we - let's go HERE where it plays terrible music very loudly but is somehow marvellous anyway.
4) This one shall be number 5!
5) This one shall be number 4!

I think we deviated a bit then. I think we'll have to go out again just to retrace our steps and get a better idea of what happens after number 5. Research, you understand.

To be honest, all I remember is Vicky bumping into at least 8 people that she sort of knew but had a conversation with anyway, and a very weird group of 21 year old boys sitting at our table in Revolution. They were out because it was the small runty one's birthday, and the group consisted of him, his grumpy 34 year old brother, his really, really cocky and arrogant deaf friend, his Asian friend who never said a word but just sat their grinning like an idiot, and his Chinese friend that got really arsey with me when I refused to tell him who I thought was better looking - him, or the cocky deaf one. (Cocky deaf one, definitely, which is why I didn't tell him.)

Lots of a dancing like twats. Chinese one took his shirt off, swung it round, groped me, got a slap, and told off by a bouncer. I found this hilarious and it was at that point I realised I should start on the lemonade.

Vicky kissed ALL of them. (Most of them.) (Ok, two of them.)

So then it was home time and we found a dodgy burger van and all was right with the world, until some slut pushed in front of us at the taxi queue. I opened the door to get in, she pushed past me, slurring "We were here first, we were here first", which made me very cross indeed. I called her a denim-clad tart and slammed the door on her. And ran to the next cab. I'm such a wimp.

And then I woke up this morning, naked, half on and half off my bed, totally baffled as to why the builders are here on a Sunday and why they are DRILLING.

Then I woke up at 1.30pm, drank a litre of lemonade, ate lots of crisps, crawled to laptop...and that brings you up to date.

Now I'm going to microwave a chocolate croissant and drink a carton of orange juice.

Tomorrow night, idontknowwhy and I are going out for a little drinkypoos, in part to have a scout around for any places we could potentially subject visitors to Hull to in August. We're very brave, doing this, believe me.

Don't expect me to be taking notes, though, because the last time Vicky and I went out in Hull, this happened, followed by this.

Can't wait

Now, I've had all night to calm down about this.

Harry Potter is a good film. They're all better actors now, Jim Broadbent and Tom Felton are great, the special effects are good, it's funny, it's sad, and yes, I mainly enjoyed it.

Except for the fact that they miss out most of the book. It would always be expected that a large amount would have to be left out, it is a mahoosive book and what they DID keep in still filled over two hours, which is long enough. You can understand them missing out bits that don't really matter, like random lessons, lounging about in the common room, blah blah blah. But when the film ended, there was this feeling of "...Er, no! Where's the rest of it?". They missed out really, really important bits. Like, main plotlines. Not good.

So when I got home, I dug out the book and had a scan through it.

I don't want to give too much away (but I've a feeling I'm about to anyway). The writers, with their apparent superior wisdom to JK Rowling's original ideas, miss out (in no particular order, as they occur to me):

- Fleur and Bill getting engaged. They're not even in it.
- Tonks having feelings for Lupin.
- Harry telling Ron and Herminone about the prophecy.
- Getting their OWL results - this is a SCHOOL they go to, after all.
- Harry learning about the Gaunt family in the Pensieve.
- Lupin telling everyone about Fenrir being a werewolf - Fenrir is in the film, but you don't see much of him, he's just an ugly looking bloke.
- Hermione researches who the Half Blood Prince could be and tells them all about former student Eileen Prince, who it could well be.
- They didn't really explain what Horcruxes are properly or where they are (although I did go for a wee at this point), which is kind of important for number 7, which is about destroying the Horcruxes.
- When Harry uses Sectusempra against Draco Malfoy (who, by the way, is dressed in a dark suit like a Bond villain throughout the entire thing), Snape reads Harry's mind and learns Harry has the old spell book which belonged to the H-B P. He demands he hands it over, so Harry gives him Ron's copy instead and hides the book in the room of requirement. (In the film, Ginny suggests he hides it, takes him there, and snogs him.)
- Prof. Trewlawney tells Harry about the Death Eaters getting into the school through the Room of Requirement.
- BIG ONE! Harry tells Ron and Herminone to reform Dumbledore's Army while he and Dumbledore go to the cave to get the Horcrux (they do go to the cave and it is a good scene - phew).
- Snape and Harry have a duel with Harry using some of the Half Blood Prince's spells against him, which is when Snape is supposed to reveal that he was the H-B P. But seeing as they've pretty much ignored this whole storyline, it's a bit weird when Alan Rickman booms "Yes...I am the Half Blood Prince!". So? No one's cared up until now. (Maybe if you'd let Hermione look into it...)
- In the astronomy tower, Dumbledore is supposed to Petrify Harry while he's under the invisibility cloak so that he doesn't get hurt or interfere. He doesn't. (This really annoyed me because in his visible and non-Petrified state, Harry WOULD'VE interfered, not just hidden! He never hides! He has to be the hero, that's the POINT!)
- There is supposed to be a battle between the school and the Death Eaters! A BIG BATTLE! Bill is supposed to get horribly disfigured by Fenrir but Fleur doesn't mind, she loves him anyway, yadda yadda. But like I said in the first line...
- Hermione does more research and finds out that Eileen Prince was Snape's mother. His dad was a muggle. Hence why he was called Half-Blood Prince. So, pretty important we know that, yes?

BIGGEST GRIPE:

- There's no funeral for Dumbledore. No big white tomb, everyone distraught, not knowing if Hogwarts will reopen. No. It ends with them looking at some scenery.

Anything else?

Oh yes. All the stuff they added that wasn't in the book, like Bellatrix arriving at The Burrow and running off into the corn field, with Harry chasing her, which meant Ginny chased Harry, which meant Mr Weasley chased her, which meant Lupin chased him, before Bella flew back to the house and set fire to it while they all stood watching it burn. It added nothing to the film in terms of plot or direction, and, if they HADN'T added it, it would've meant there was time for the rest of it to be put in. LIKE THE BATTLE AND THE FUNERAL. THE MAIN PARTS.

There's artistic license and there's taking the piss. I would've rather they had split the film into two parts like they plan to for film 7.

Hmph.

Still good though.

1) New phone arrived today, via nice Daddy driving it over.

2) OFF TO SEE POTTER IN AN HOUR.

This is an EXCELLENT day, apart from the woman who is putting in a complaint about me - but I'm quite looking forward to that. Her main problem is that I'm not psychic or able to pre-empt her every move and decision, so, y'know, bring it on.

Ta ta!

Bus, on the way home from work. Sat behind a seventy-nine year old woman.

First she pulled a copy of Company magazine out of her bag. She browsed through the special Ibiza feature, dawdling on a page that seemed very eager to impress on the reader that the key accessory for a holiday on said Balearic isle is a Trilby hat - obviously. She scoffed a little.

Bored with that, she skipped straight ahead to the middle of the book, to the "SOOO dirty, we had to seal it!" section of filthy stories. She unsealed it and had a flick. (Through the pages.)

I know she was seventy-nine because she then took a piece of card out of her bag that had her date of birth in fairly large print, directly underneath the title of "NHS HUMBER MENTAL HEALTH TEAM - PRESCRIPTION".

I have seen my future...and I like it

Had I been more with it this morning I would've realised that I wasn't at work at 1 - 5pm, as I thought. No, it was 3 - 7pm. So, after looking rather stupid at 1pm, I found myself with two hours to kill on campus. Thrilling.

Chips whiled away a little while. Felt a bit queasy.

Wandered around Waterstone's. It still sells books.

Bought lots and lots and lots of Coke.

Sat on a bench, drinking lots and lots and lots of Coke, watching people wander around post-graduation ceremonies. A sea of gowns and mortarboards. (That was me three years ago. Meh. My sister graduates tomorrow. Fuck.)

Had another wander but soon realised there were too many parents with cameras, desperate for that perfect shot of their begowned offspring, even if it takes twenty attempts. One dad had brought his tripod.

Zombiefied. Found an empty study room on the 6th floor of the library, locked the door, set my alarm and managed a twenty minute kip. Coke probably not such a good idea at that point.

Longest shift ever eyes throbbing. Self inflicted, I know.

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Brilliant night out though really missed those two guys. And those nights out. So had they, we all got a bit nostalgic and silly.

Whoosh - that was my life zooming past me.

Oh well, far too tired to worry about that right now.

Nando's in Hull is shite.

Chicken was nice, but nothing special, and very expensive for what is, essentially, just spicy chicken. I can make spicy chicken. The service and standards were awful - I shouldn't be made to feel like I am in the wrong for daring to ask for a knife, a plate, and a wine glass that wasn't cracked and didn't have lippy all over it. Then our server - named, on the reciept, as "m'lady chelsey" - asked us if we wanted dessert, presented us with menus, and never came back to ask again. So we didn't have any. YOU MISSED OUT, M'LADY. We went to Tesco and bought a chocolate trifle instead, and ate it outside Nando's, hahahaha, hic.

So, if you're ever passing through, don't go there. S'shit.

I have to be at work in two hours. I am undoubtedly still drunk. I haven't been to bed. I really need a bath and clean clothes. But all I want to do is go to bed. Do you think work will understand if I bring a pillow in? Why are the builders drilling? Why? Why drill when painting? Hate them. Cry. Head. Hahaha. Zzz.

YAY, is Jenniebaby's birthday. We should all be happy about this because:

a) Jennie is wonderful
b) Jennie has kittehs
c) Jennie makes cake

These are all wonderful things.

So happy birthday to Jenniebaby who is NOT old, merely established.

Here is Future Marmaduke singing Happy Birthday to his Future Mummy:

...phone death, less than six months after the last one. Not entirely sure what caused it this time. NOT me.

But never mind, I have a free brand spanking (I wish, haha!) new phone arriving on Monday, along with a cheekily good contract for under £20.

I think Orange have an alert on my account - "Give her what she wants, else she gets her Dad to ring, and you'll feel so exploited after that phone call you'll probably need assertiveness training and therapy".

So, every swing and roundabout has a silver lining, and all that.

Everyone else is doing it, and I can sheep along with the best of them.

So, ask me a question about myself, any question you like.

Token disclaimer: I'll try my best to answer every one, but reserve the right not to.

Although, I have been described as 'alarmingly honest'.

Employee Of The Year, Part 2

(I’m English and backpacking in New Zealand. I’ve just started work in a fast food place and am on the drive through for the first time.)

Manager: “Okay. What you have to do is talk to the customers and make them feel really welcome. Get a bit chatty if you can.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Watch this…”

(A customer drives down to my window to pay for his food.)

Me: “Hey there, how you doing? That will be [price].”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Customer: “Whereabouts in England?”

Me: “Hull.”

Customer: “ME TOO! I’m from *** Road!”

Me: “Sweet, I grew up just round the corner from there! Was it a nightmare having them build the new stadium right on your doorstep?”

Customer: “No way! Yer, was a right pain! Speaking of which, did you see the Tigers play the other night?”

Me: “Nah, I missed it. I was working. I heard the result though, get in!”

Customer: “Let’s see if we come out on top at the end of the season! Anyway, I best go pick up my food. I am sure you have other customers to serve. My name is *** by the way. What’s yours?”

Me: “I’m ***.”

(We shake hands through the window.)

Customer: “Nice to meet you man. I will be sure to see you around.”

Me: “Yeah, have a good day mate!”

(The customer drives to the next window. I turn to look at my manager who has a look of total disbelief.)

Me: “And that’s how you do that.”

Manager: “Yeah, I will leave you to it. I think you got the hang of it!”

...my sister included, who was 0.6% off a First, and isn't going to let us forget it for some time.

Edit: Probably shouldn't have told her that if it had been 0.5% off it would've been rounded up so essentially she missed out by 0.1%. Dramatic

The Met Office has raised its heatwave alert level in parts of England, as hot and humid conditions look set to continue until Friday.

London and the South East are now on Level 3 of four, with temperatures set to reach at least 32C (89.6F). (BBC)

Well, good heavens. My parents have just got back from a week in 35C Cyprus - how are they still alive to tell the tale?

"Drink water!", they shriek. Well, there's some new advice. Most days I don't drink anything but my own urine, but now that it's hot outside, I'll be sure to take on some of this nectar they call 'water'.

"Keep cool!". No, I want to see what happens when, like Manny, I reach over 88F. Plus, my instinct is to AVOID shade, not seek it, especially when I start blistering.

And surely the best pieces of advice of all, from BBC News Magazine:

"Don't carry anything in your pockets. Even a credit card in a pocket is noticeably uncomfortable. It is covering up a bit of skin surface. If you can bear to have a short haircut, do so, it makes you so much more comfortable."

Righto, so it isn't as simple as drink water and stay out of the sun: I'll get naked, shave my head, and carry my possessions in a net bag held between my teeth.

YES! It's HOT! Get over it! It'll rain at the weekend!

Now somebody bring me a fan before I DIE, or worse!